Friday, August 11, 2006

Cultist of the Week Award

This week’s Cultist of the Week Award goes to Bob Hieronymus — that madcapping publicist for New Saint Andrews College who managed to place NSA in the top 50 “All-American Colleges: Top Schools for Conservatives, Old-Fashioned Liberals, and People of Faith.” In our opinion, anyone savvy enough to place NSA in the top 50 of anything deserves commendation. Look at it this way: in 2005 NSA perpetrated a Shroud of Turin fraud; successfully concealed vital information about a serial pedophile from the community; dodged a legitimate charge of plagiarism; and was declared in violation of the Zoning Code for the third time in a decade. How’s that for family values? This year, however, NSA dug deep and got their money’s worth out of Bob Hieronymus, who pulled the mother of all rabbits out of his hat, proving the maxim: “There’s a sucker born every minute, but none of them ever die.” Bob, we salute you with a special tip of the Fedora.