Saturday, May 19, 2007

The Secret Life of Schwaller Mitty, Part I

Dear Mr. Schwaller,

You say, “QED,” but your latest rhetorical devices indicate that you have fallen head first into a protracted “I am not Doug Wilson; I just act like him,” downward spiral, which will only end in calamity. Please, let me help restore you by filling in yet more blanks.

In order to understand this next point, you must firmly grasp the axiom that IT IS ALL ABOUT DOUG, and you must understand that the only way for Pastor Wilson to insure that all things remain ALL ABOUT DOUG, he must CONTROL THE CONVERSATION. He must bend and shape and twist the dialogue, if not prohibit it outright, to insure that when anyone says anything about him (or his church), they either say nice things or else he is present to CONTROL THE CONVERSATION.

This objective is easy enough to achieve inside the church where he rules with an iron fist. For example, in a previous post I referenced Duck because, as you know, Wilson gave him an ultimatum: “Sign the Christ Church Commitment to Loyalty or I’ll put you in the bread line.” The Christ Church Commitment to Loyalty prohibited free speech and it required the strict appearance of perfect loyalty to the church — so strict that if anyone ever questioned it, Wilson would immediately terminate him. The rest of the stories spun by Wilson are complete fabrications. I have read the Christ Church Commitment to Loyalty and I have spoken to Duck. Sadly, most kirkers are afraid to call him because they know that when they hang up, they will have to make a costly decision (Wilson knows this too). However, the point of the Christ Church Commitment to Loyalty and the point that you must understand was Wilson’s obsessive need to CONTROL THE CONVERSATION.

An even better example of Wilson’s need to CONTROL THE CONVERSATION is the case at hand — Steven Sitler. Mr. Schwaller, what pastoral consideration could possibly exist that would override Wilson’s absolute responsibility to warn his flock of predation? Of course, you and I both know that the answer is “No reason or excuse exists that could in any way relieve him of this obligation.” But believe it or not, last year the paper quoted Wilson (or one of his proxies), saying something like they “did it for the victims,” whatever that means.

By comparison, the church in Colville not only sent letters to the congregation, they adopted a policy to purchase a full-page ad in the newspaper to place Sitler’s photograph before the public with the warning: CONVICTED PEDOPHILE, if he ever returns to Colville. Now that’s a church that cares. Not Wilson; he didn’t say boo to the flock, let alone the public, which brings us back to point.

Wilson decided to ignore the urgent duty of warning his congregation because he wanted to CONTROL THE CONVERSATION. He understands that the words “Serial Pedophile” lead to six-inch headlines, and in 2005 he certainly didn’t want to go through another 2003–04. After all, IT’S ALL ABOUT DOUG. So he CONTROLLED THE CONVERSATION by withholding vital information.

Now take this principle and apply it to Vision 2020. Wilson needs to CONTROL THE CONVERSATION, but after he ran away from here in 2003, he put himself in a pickle. How could he honor his pledge to sign off 2020 yet simultaneously CONTROL THE CONVERSATION? The answer to this question lies within the Secret Life of Schwaller Mitty.

It is not enough for Pastor Wilson to have proxies spreading his opinions on this bulletin board. Ultimately, he must visit this list in person to make his arguments firsthand. So when he said farewell in December 2003, he left by name only because even at that time he had two Schwaller Mittys — two fictitious personalities with pseudonymous email accounts — subscribed to Vision 2020 so that he could CONTROL THE CONVERSATION. And these two conjured characters were the first in an endless parade of pseudonyms who would visit this forum at various points in Kirk history, so that Wilson could CONTROL THE CONVERSATION.

Mr. Schwaller, I introduce you to Edna Wilmington (#1) and Rodney Johnson, the first two pseudonyms deployed by Wilson in November 2003, a couple of weeks before he signed off this listserv. Mr. Schwaller, think of them as the Ghosts of Schwaller’s Past, for these two fakes were the beginning of Schwallers — extensions of a deranged imagination slipping into madness — so that Wilson could CONTROL THE CONVERSATION.

Mr. Schwaller, you must save yourself from this “I am not Doug Wilson; I just act like him,” downward spiral, lest you fall into oblivion with all the others.

The Secret Life of Schwaller Mitty, Part II will follow.


PS: Mr. Schwaller, you have persuaded me that you can follow an argument and that you do not need repetitive caps. Please indulge me, however, because there is a group of people who require such things to help jar them out of their stupor.

From: “Glenn Schwaller”
To: Vision2020
Sent: Friday, May 18, 2007 4:31 PM
Subject: A Man of Constant Schwaller

Thank you Mr Herodotus.

Your response most certainly put all the pieces together for me.

quod erat demonstrandum